5 Month break down 

I have come to a complete standstill hence the non frequent posts. A mixture of being done with finals and being relieved that I have less stress that constantly contradicts itself by being the marking point that time is running out. The requirements for college deadlines feel suffocating and the fear of the unknown is more daunting than anything I’ve ever experienced. 

It is currently January which means that the new semester is beginning and marks a new cross road in my high school career. I could graduate with less credits and free up time to possibly get a job or graduate with the required amount and get into college. I have a hunch that a CSU wouldn’t care whether or not I did ten electives that were things I wasn’t interested in but I could be wrong. 

The next thing to worry about is a gap year. I want to do a gap year but I need funding. This is an increasingly difficult thing because I need to register before time is up but also needs professional consultation. Having to work out that slight kink has given me anxiety as well as the fact that I need a place to live if that falls through. I want to travel and be mobile and decrease in the amount of materialistic items I have. 

This is where the van idea comes in. I currently have a 2000 Honda CR-V that is named Darla. Darla and I had a rocky start but we now are best friends. She has attitude but is reliable. I would hate to see her go but a van would be practical. If I were to do a van conversion and live out of it there are technical things I would have to worry about such as the fact that I know nothing about auto macanics and I would have to invest time and money into making it functional without the help of a professional. 

At the moment I am in a floating stage of my senior year, the calm before the storm if you will. Hopefully I will be okay in the end. Stability for the meantime will remain in the present but who knows about the future. 

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