Driving down the unlit highway feeling nervous about the black abyss. Hardly a street lamp shone on the dark deserted road. The music was playing yet she wasn’t listening, she was too focused on attempting to see the road from the darkness that seemed to fall on everything like black tar. Her eyes strained to see just a few yards in front of her even with her brights. Going five miles above the speed limit she climbed a hill on the old highway. The night was dark. It was late. She wanted to be home. To distract herself from her eerie surroundings she went over a checklist of chores and things todo once she got home. As she descended the hill she noticed something strange in the center of the road. An odd tree branch that had fallen perhaps. Suddenly the branch moved frantically. It all came to her quickly. The branches we people waving their arms frantically she tried to slow down in case they needed help but she looked ahead to see the mangled car that was approaching too fast for her to stop. Everything slowed. The impact sent a rush of fear through her and she had a few conscious thoughts: 

I haven’t even paid off this car.

What will people think when they’ve found out you have been in another accident?

Am I going to live?

Her senses rushed her telling her to grab the wheel once the airbag deployed and she swung it. Her feet reached for the break petal that no longer seemed to work and everything was moving so slow. Think she thought. She closed her eyes smelling smoke and feeling the car come to an abrupt stop. Smoke. Suddenly it’s hard to breathe through the air. The car could be on fire, get out. Quickly reaching for the door handle her hand failed to open it she tried again feeling it release and throwing herself out into the wet concrete gasping for air. She was alive. Alive and well even. That’s all she needed 

Last night I was in an accident. A car heading northbound had crashed in the center of the wrong lane. It had been flung up into the air after hydroplaning on what was believed to be an oil spill. The front and back axle were broken and the lights didn’t work. Two men stood beside it seeing the wreckage when a car came approving too fast for them to warn. They saw her attempt to slow and swerve but hit the tail end of the car and spin to the other side. It stopped and for a moment there was no movement. The combined smoke from both cars was enough to choke someone. Suddenly the car door was flung open and the girl kept onto the concrete coughing. 

This was the scene of my second accident last night. I have never been so scared and anxious in my life as I did in feeling the moment of impact. When I got out of my car I stood to make sure the two men were okay. They were and when I saw a car fast approaching my car I screamed and shone a flashlight frantically. Tears were in my eyes and the man stopped his car rushing to the scene. There was no service. Hardly anyone on the highway. We were eventually saved by a sheriff deputy that was responding to a call of liquids in the road. They found us and quickly called for backup. My friend came after the fire trucks and hugged me. I needed it. 
I didn’t get home until 1am and left with a swollen hand and forearm. And a migraine that developed vision loss. I was okay. That’s all that mattered. As much as I’d like to worry about everything else I cannot forget the countless people stopping and telling me “you’re lucky to be alive”. 


Life isn’t always fun. Not even close. Today was one of the worst days of my life. 

Picture this: 

A teenage girl driving home from school trying to figure out how to explain to her family why she called her self out of class. A song comes on that she lives but she can’t even appreciate it because she’s going out of her mind insane with how she’ll be dead when she gets home. A car pulls into the street next to her and she looks to see if they are close to her car. As her head swings back to the front of the wheel and her hair brushed her shoulder she sees nothing but break lights. Three cars with in dead stops. She slams on the breaks but the combination of wet pavement and bad breaks doesn’t help. Impact. She is thrust into the steering wheel and then pushed back into her seat while her foot is nailed to the break. She looks at her steering wheel expecting the air bag to deploy and potentially break a rib. She can’t breath and the wind is knocked out of her but she’s okay. Her body is shaking with terror as she comes back to reality. She realizes what’s happened and pulls to the side and puts it in park. Then she wishes the impact would have killed her.

She looks at the couple who get out of their car. The back end seemingly fine while the hood of her car is scrunched up like a scrunchey hair tie. The headlights are shoved into the car. The tears come effortlessly and she fumbles for words. She is in so much trouble, she doesn’t know what to do. This is when it hits her.
Up until this moment I thought I was prepared to be on my own. I thought I knew what to do in every situation and I was nearly an adult. I knew finances were going to be hard but I’d figure it out. Past that, I had it down. I messed up. I totaled my car. I had no idea what to do in such a situation. I am not prepared and I’m terrified of the future. I felt like a little girl thrown into the real world. I don’t know how I’m going to survive.