Empathy 

This blog was an idea spawned from the brains of great people who encouraged me to improve my writing. As it has progressed over the past two months it has been a major stress relief for me. I was completely honest on this blog when I stated that it was a way I could vent without having to constantly complain to my friends which I still do but it’s normally about the small meaningless things in life, the 1st world problems. 
My audience for this blog consists of friends, acquaintances, and a few strangers who enjoy my writing. The majority of this audience reads to check in with my life and/or to see how my writing is improving i’d presume. Correct me if I’m wrong. This being said there is bound to be conflict in these rants of mine because not all perceive reality in the same way.
What I’m trying to say is this: we all see different variations of reality and can’t always come to a consensus because of this variety of the verdict. In short, this is how wars are started. I believe that one’s experiences dictate their perception. This is precisely the reason that I am a firm believer in empathy.
The other day I was braiding Taylor’s hair and she was watching a video on Facebook on the topic of empathy which sent me spinning in thought after the month’s events. The definition of this word didn’t become a clear picture until I was 12 and in a group home (for those who don’t know what this is it is a housing unit that is basically an orphanage but is run like a prison). A girl had made it apparent what empathy was. I kept to myself in those days because it was an everybody fends for themselves kind of scenario. This girl who was a year or two older than me seemed to go along with what anyone else told her and didn’t stand up for herself but rather aimed to please in order to have friends. 
For whatever reason, this timid girl decided that she could trust me. I hadn’t paid her much attention until she began to open up to me. She explained that her therapy sessions didn’t seem to help in any way and she still felt awful inside. She explained she felt guilty. As we became better acquainted she revealed more about this guilt. I began to understand that she had no need to feel guilty. That the horrors that she had been exposed to had been pawned off as being her fault by those around her. So from that moment on she found herself guilty to everything she had ever been exposed to even if it plainly wasn’t her fault. One night she cried to me about it and I felt her pain but I also saw how our perspectives were completely different from one another.
With all that being said I find it easy to find empathy for others after countless experiences similar to this one. This sometimes leaves me at a disadvantage because I would expect the same from others around me. Just because somethings scary to me doesn’t mean that it’s scary for everyone. That leaves a different sensitivity scale for each individual. It is impossible to gauge this scale from what meets the eye, hence the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”.
The basic understanding of human empathy is impossible without life experiences. The relatability that causes us to comprehend another’s pain, happiness, and sorrow. This relatability that people utilize to understand one another is often what can make us feel even more alone in the world forming this strange paradox. To put in other words: if you struggle and you find someone who also struggles, the matter of such struggles can differ just ever so slightly to the point where the common ground that was foreseeable in a moment of desperation has now disappeared into a fog of confusion and frustration.
Therefore, I ask for understanding over immediate redemption. That although there is a mending ability between ties that are broken with automatic forgiveness, the strongest bonds were made of perceptiveness of those around you. The ability to feel what another is experiencing or had experienced is a learned skill that can be developed through awareness.
 It is impossible to walk a mile in another person’s shoes but the effort in trying can prove to be fruitful.