Ignorance 

Something we all possess no matter the degree. For me personally, I have ignorance for my own feelings and responsibilities. This ignorance is somewhat of a mental block. It grows into a consuming force or it abides by life’s twists and turns yet is still subtly there. 

The saying ignorance is bliss always struck me as funny. I believe it was derived from the Adam and Eve story when the fruit of knowledge was eaten. They had paradise and immortality until they ate the forbidden fruit. I personally don’t believe in the story because the maker of the story emphasizes their tranquility and peace. How can you know peace if you haven’t known war? How can you know light if you haven’t known dark. These sharp contrasts in life help illuminate what is in front of us. Therefore ignorance is not bliss, because you cannot know ignorance of you have not known knowledge. With out knowledge ignorance is non existent.

These small ignorances we struggle with in day to day life can either affect us or not. It depends on so many different factors that it is impossible to generalize it. 

I am ignorant to my feelings and self esteem. I choose to ignore it at all costs hoping it will flutter away when in reality it is a pot that is boiling over, splashing over the sides and sizzling. 

Everyone is prone to this because of their comfort zone. We want to stay in it. That’s human nature. You can never not have some sort of comfort zone. I watched a TED talk about how stepping out of your comfort zone can significantly bring up your confidence. Things like laying down on a busy sidewalk or socializing with people you wouldn’t normally socialize with. Perhaps we can help aid our ignorance with confidence but even in that realm of being you can be ignorant.

I believe the world is set up with rules. These lines that are difficult to cross or can easily be crossed and either way keep us on one side or the other. In other words it can be either a giant ridge that you are trying climb over that represents a line or it can be a tightrope made of floss. Either way, you are usually stuck on one side, never perfectly balanced in the middle.

So perhaps ignorance is one of the many factors that upholds these walls. Regardless we all have them. Some have negative connotations some have positive and others are just neutral. Being ignorant to certain factors of our own lives, our own inner workings, is what makes us human. It’s when the ignorance reaches a level of absurdity that it slides down slope into the idea of absolute negative connotations. 

I strive to vanquish ignorances that threaten the aspects of my life that are needed in order for me to stay afloat. With depleted confidence and sense of self esteem, I have been actively attempting to rid myself of the specific ignorance that I care about what others think of me. If you were to ask me if I cared what people thought, I would say no. I am ignorant to my own personality trait that in fact dismantles my social life. 

I try to work on these ignorances that seem to carry the essence of negativity in order to become a more refined and overall happy person. 

*I have not been writing in the blog for a while for a few reasons. First of all, I’m not going to list some lame half assed excuses on how I have been busy or not had time because in fact I have. I haven’t been writing because the blog has felt like a negitive thing for many reasons and I decided to take a break. I love the blog dearly because I can get everything out but sometime I need to wrestle with my brain as much as I need to write out my thoughts. It wasn’t writers block, more of a writers vacation. For those who have stuck around on the blog, thank you.